Thursday, April 28, 2005

The mystery of the chili finger

A fresh bowl of Wendy's Finger ChiliTM anyone?

The jury is in, and Anna Ayala is a fraudmeister. By now her chili finger claim is coast to coast, where she claims to have bitten down on a human finger in the Monterey Wendy’s Restaurant. But look at the logical case:

  • No one in the food management chain is missing any fingers.
  • The finger was not a cooked finger [I know this sounds really gross when talking about a human finger, but there is a difference between meat that is cooked and not cooked, lol].
  • Independent witnesses say she appeared to put something in the chili from a bag.
  • She has a juicy history of fraud and attempted fraud.

But the mystery remains: where did she get the finger? The question needs to be asked: Who gave Anna the finger?

Suffice to say that law enforcement is stumped on this one, lol.

They’ve traced deceased family members and digitless humans, but so far can’t finger the donor.

[This is too much fun, lol!]

But more on the serious side, no one seems to be noting the obvious: This partial finger could have come from an illegal immigrant. Anyone with connection to the high level "coyotes," human [and narcotics] smugglers who transport illegals from Mexico to CA [and the U.S.], would have an unlimited supply of human body parts. The criminal "polleros" are some of the most cold and remorseless humans on this planet: they rape, extort and deal in death almost daily. Providing a few body parts on ice would be nothing for them – for the right price. If the DNA can somehow be identified with Mexican descent, then the likely reality is that this is from an illegal immigrant, now dead.

But back to the lighter side, I think Wendy’s could make a killing from this [pardon the expression, lol]. Think of how many people travel thousands of miles so they can drink a Yukon Sourtoe Cocktail, touching their lips to pickled human toes. Gross, I know!

But if Wendy’s picked up on this, they could offer the “Finger Chili Special” with fake fingers in it, as a gag treat. Just think of the hordes of drunken college students that would flock to Wendy’s to try it! Every frat party for the next few years would feature Wendy’s Finger Chili
TM. Shoot, I’d try it myself…maybe treat the youth group to a Finger Chili night, lol!

Turn a negative into a positive, that’s what I say.

Dave Thomas, can you hear me? Turn the chili finger nightmare into a multi-million dollar windfall: bring out the “Finger Chili Special” with Fake Wendy’s Fingers included in each bowl! Charge a dollar or so more, with a little certificate that says, "I ate a bowl of Wendy's Finger Chili

I promise to buy a bowl and treat my friends too, lol.

Ad campaign slogan: Stand up against fraud! Buy a bowl of Wendy's Finger Chili


UPDATE: They've fingered the donor! :-)

And, they've found at least 13 cases where this woman filed suits in her or her children's name. She's given herself a multi-million dollar lifestyle [nice home!] through fraud. Litigation lawyers are such great Americans! Yakov Smirnov would say, "Vat a Country!"

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